2018's Top 10
Female Lead Category
Male Lead Category
By Lorine Rivas
Woo… Okay, this is colder than I remember. Just breath in-breath out. Relax. Why’d we even wait so long? We always tell her “See you in three weeks!”, yet here we are seven weeks later with a jungle in our crotch and no George in sight. Stupid.
We better come up with a good excuse before she comes in and says, “Oh yo hair so long. Why you no come sooner,” and what’re we gonna tell her, we were in a coma? Nah, too dramatic. Let’s just tell her we were traveling… yeah traveling, that’s more believable. But she’ll say “Ohhh vacation, that’s nice, where you go?” and what’re we gonna tell her Cancun, Miami, No Alaska, Yes, Alaska, cold is perfect.
Oh shit, okay, here she comes. Wait, why’s she so quiet… that’s weird… did I fart? Oh damn, that’s caliente, that’s very hot! And no warning? Just like that? Okay. Brace yourself lil mama this is gonna hurrrrrrrrtttt. Santa Maria Madre de dios. This lady is pisssssssed! Dannnggg, why’s she so mean. She just pulled that strip like a carpet out of a living room! Vajayjay… are you still there?